Turmoil of Love

6.00 am, it irritated me so much. My day has clearly started, but I wasn't really up to it.I was petrified to face the day as I know I will be losing you all over again throughout the day.Yes,losing a person is a perpetual stream of feeling that running smoothly like the first snow on every October.I keep on losing you when I heard our fav songs and when I touched the bed where I sat eagerly as I was waiting for your call. It has been awhile since you gone that I can feel the momentum of life has pushed me forward.I'm not sad anymore BUT it's rather a constant fizgig of menacing complexity in my head while performing daily habitual activities.For instance,I've tiptoed on all the problems and straight away to the bed, yet I ended up feeling the burden of nothingness sucked me down the mattress.I felt a strange tumult of emotions flicker over my thought that I could not decribe the meaning.Defeated? Rejected? Yearning? No, I could not discern it, it's insane.